Premiership Predictions

Posted by Sonuvagun

Thanks SmartArse for putting the boot in the doomsayers and getting us excited about the season ahead! As usual there’s the usual Arse drivel in the press about Arsenal not being title contenders this year and, what’s more, almost certainly falling out of the top four, and you have to wonder if the position of sports journalist requires the memory of a goldfish (and moreover one that banged its head excessively hard on the inside of its bowl as a child, causing regular relapses of amnesia), as Arsene Wenger’s troops inevitably prove them wrong season after season. Not quite as wrong as we’d all like, sadly, but wrong enough that you’d think they might have the good sense not to make the same embarrassingly poor predictions about the imminent demise of the club again and again.

Onto the 2010-2011 season and I’m still a bit loath to make my Premiership predictions as you feel that some of the title contenders, plus Spurs, are still to make one or two telling signings. And what with our much-talked about problems a la rear you have to hope we’re one of them. Still the right time for predictions is clearly here and so without further ado I’m going to whip out my crystal ball, give it a quick polish, and then peer into it knowingly…

Actually let’s have some further ado, why not? A quick analysis of us and the competition will help me put everyone in their rightful place….

Chelsea

Strengths: Chelski retain the core of their squad and their manager, even if Abramovich is tightening his pockets somewhat. Joe Cole didn’t really play much last year so hard to think that they will miss him that much this year, and Benayoun is a decent replacement. Essien is back, Ramires has been added and they have a very very strong squad.

Weaknesses: The loss of Carvalho may be telling, whilst you can always hope that Terry and Ashley Cole are going to end up in court after ‘dogging’ an underage hairdresser from Watford. Perhaps the most encouraging thing from an Arsenal perspective is the Blues’ abominal pre-season form. Chelsea have lost every game, and both Drogba and Lampard are doubts for their opening match again West Brom. I just have a sense that, despite their talent, Chelsea can quickly go off the rails, particularly if one of Lampard, Drogba, Cech or Terry pick up an injury. I also feel Ancelotti doesn’t galvanise them in quite the way Hiddink and Mourinho managed to.

Manchester United

Strengths: Man Utd’s main strength is Alex Ferguson. The old battle axe manages to get the most out of an increasingly poor squad year after year and they never tire, or question him when things are going bad. They also have some promising youngsters coming through but hard to think that any of them will turn into a revelation this season…

Weaknesses: I don’t know about other Man U haters, but I’ve been rubbing my hands with glee all summer. Ok, they have brought in what looks like a talented kid in Hernandez, but as they play with one striker I’m not sure what they plan on doing with him – or Bebe. Besides are either of them better than Berbatov? Probably not, or not yet. Ok, they’ve also retained Vidic but surely they’re not going into another season with Gary Neville at right back? And what about their midfield. I was 100% sure Man U would bring in a big name to replace the likes of Giggs and Scholes, whose impact this year will be in spurts at best, but as yet nothing. It’s hard to believe the biggest club in the country has such a pedestrian midfield but has spent all summer reinforcing their front line – it has to cost them.

Liverpool

Strength: Retained Torres and Gerrard and picked up Cole and Poulsen. The arrival of Roy Hodgson should steady the ship after the increasingly erratic behaviour of Benitez, install some belief and help Liverpool challenge for the top four again…

Weaknesses: …but hard to see them getting much further. Their champagne players are more brittle than even Robin Van Persie (I’m touching wood, don’t worry) and their squad players more crap than Saloman Kalou. Lack the strength and depth required to challenge for first place.

Man City

Strengths: Money. And money = world class players. Silva and Toure are undeniably dishy, I’m assuming Balotelli can kick a ball and Boateng is handy to have around. And yet…

Weaknesses: …the way City are going about ‘their project’ is all wrong, and their attempt to buy the title is obviously not going to work. Look at Real Madrid last year and look at what City are doing. Very similar except for all their money City are not even buying the very best players. If Kaka and Ronaldo didn’t win anything for Madrid you can be sure Silva and Balotelli won’t for City. Meanwhile talents like Stephen Ireland are going to be sold off. Money is a great advantage in football, if used the way Man U for example tended to use it in the past. To purchase a top top player or two to bolster a team they have built up over the years. Bringing in a whole new team every season is obviously detrimental to any sense of progress, and over the top wages, lots of big egos and an idiot of a manager are also hardly a recipe for success.

Tottenham

Strengths: Very capable squad and decent depth in most positions. A wiley manager. Good team spirit driven by the feeling of being underdogs.

Weaknesses: For all their ability Tottenham perhaps lack the truly unstoppable talents of players like Fabregas, Rooney, Gerrard etc… You had the feeling that last season they outdid themselves a bit, and with no new arrivals to speak off (maybe Gallas, which would be a great signing for them, although hardly one that solved the problem of injury-proneness at the back) it’s hard to think they will go as far as last year, especially as they will have to compete in the Champions League as well. They’ll definitely claim a few big scalps however.

Everton

Strengths: A very savvy manager who commands the respect of his players. They’ve kept hold of Arteta and Jagielka and, with both of these returning from long term injuries, you have to feel they are one of the teams almost sure to do better than last year. How much better remains to be seen.

Weaknesses: Lois Saha was their top scorer last term (13 goals) and you have to wonder if they’ve got enough firepower to claim a top four spot.

Aston Villa

Strengths: A few talented players and a decent team spirit.

Weaknesses: Losing Martin O’Neil so close to the start of the season has called curtains on any hope of them doing well this year. They should still mange to start brightly but then fade quickly when things begin to wrong. Especially as their squad is too thin to go the distance…

Arsenal

Strengths: Probably the most talented squad in the Premiership, albeit unevenly stacked. For all but two positions we can replace quality with quality… let’s look at our A-team

Arshavin-Van Persie-Nasri
Song-Fabregas-Diaby
Clichy-Vermaelen-Koscielny-Sagna
Almunia

And then our B-team

Rosicky-Chamakh-Walcott
Denilson-Wilshere-Ramsay
Gibbs-Djorou-PLEASE BUY SOMEONE MR. WENGER-Eboue
Fabianski

On top of that we’ve got Bendtner, Vela, Frimpong and Eastmond. Naturally you’d be pretty worried about putting out the B-team all at once, but with the exception of Fabianski those are pretty sexy reserves. As for the A-team it looks the real deal, except for you know where… One other ‘strength’ is that we can’t possibly have worse luck on the injury front than last year (can we?).

Weaknesses: We all know Arsenal’s weaknesses and they’ve been discussed at length – they are almost certainly going to hurt us. There’s still time for Wenger to plug the gaps and you have to believe at the very least he’s going to bring in an experienced centre back. Overall there’s a genuine chance that the team’s forward play can make up for the shortcomings at the rear, but I feel we can only win the Premiership if a) Wenger provides the goods or b) Chelsea and Man U fuck up worse than we do.

So here we go. Last year I predicted

1) Chelsea
2) Man U
3) Arsenal
4) Liverpool
5) Tottenham
5) Man City

And I must say that I was quite pleased with my crystal ball collaboration. This year I’m going to go for…

1) ARSENAL…. fuck it, I want to call it just in case we do win and I think only Chelsea can beat us. Much depends on Mr. Wenger and some last minute signings, but I genuinely believe we’ve got the best players in the Prem.

2) Chelsea. They should be my number one choice but just have a feeling there’s something not quite right at Stamford Bridge. Ok, wishful thinking but I’m keeping them at 2nd.

3) Man U. Would love to see them fall further down than 3rd, but even with their bizarre summer purchasing policy there’s the inevitability about them that will stop their slide getting out of hand. Plus they can always buy big in the transfer window if things get really ugly.

4) Liverpool. Everything went wrong for them last year and they completely lost their belief. However they should get back to their level in 2010/2011. There’s a genuine chance they could pip Man U to 3rd, but I’d be very surprised if they went further. Injuries to one of Gerrard or Torres will see them drop points in the second half of the season.

(yep, back to the big four I reckon!).

5) Everton. Like I said, should do better than last season. More players available and unlikely to repeat their dreadful start of the previous campaign. Stability and consistency will see them through.

6) Tottenham. They are a def top six side, but got a little lucky last season. The extra burden of the CL, plus a slice of bad fortune will stop them repeating last year’s heroics.

Right there’s almost no chance of predicting a top six correctly so I won’t make it worse by picking a top eight. However I fully expect Man City to self-implode at some stage, with Mancini replaced before Christmas. (Wishful thinking again, and yet somehow believable!)

So there you have it. Nothing to do now but look forward to tomorrow’s game against Liverpool. If travelling to Anfield wasn’t tricky enough it looks like our injury problems have managed to roll into this season, although I’m hoping most of them are quite minor. It seems Diaby is definitely available, whilst Song, Denilson, Cesc and RVP could all feature – not one of them has played a minute of Arsenal’s pre-season however. Nonetheless there’s plenty of reason to be optimistic as the rest of the team has been doing fine without them, with Wilshere and Frimpong anchoring the middle and Nasri, Chamakh, Walcott and Eboue all on good form. Wenger tends to have his men more ready than most at the start of each season, but Liverpool will be raring to go after last year’s disappointing campaign and have the new manager factor and home advantage going for them. The smart money says a draw. I’m saying 3-1 Arsenal!

Come on the Arse!